NEWS

Washington, D.C. | June 14, 2025 – Disgraced clown Jim Flannery left his Solana-covered skid mark on the digital universe early this morning by releasing the elegantly-designed $FUCKTRUMP memecoin and launching the undesigned getFUCKTRUMPmemes.org website. Since this reporter is appalled at Flannery’s lack of interest in any of these press releases I’ve put together on his behalf, I will ask him a direct question so he’ll stop smirking like a stupid fucking ass hole. Well,…

Glastonbury, Conn. | June 2, 2025 – Amidst a dusting of mental illness allegations in the /r/Connecticut community on Reddit this past week, our friendly neighborhood schizophrenic Jim Flannery ignored all requests from this reporter to check the fucking mail for a response from the State Attorney General’s Office regarding his Motion to Stay. Fortunately for our readers, he loved his mother enough to check for the latest copy of the Glastonbury Citizen this morning…

Hartford, Conn. | May 27, 2025 – Nothing happened today in the contentious human rights battle between former U.S. Presidential Candidate James Flannery and his home state of Connecticut, at least that’s the story according to the Plaintiff. “There’s nothing to write about. It’s just a piece of paper asking permission from the Court to put the case on hold until I get a release from the [Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities],” shared Flannery……

New York, Ny. | May 11, 2025 – The anticipation of Home Box Office Entertainment’s response in the joke theft case of Flannery v. HBO built to a disappointing climax today, as Plaintiff Flannery failed to serve the Defendants, HBO and Gary Gulman, with their summons. With the 90-day window passing, Judge ABC may be left wondering whether this effort was nothing more than a frivolous flight of frantic fanaticism, or, quite possibly, an insidious…

Glastonbury, Conn. | May 2, 2025 – It was a not-so-cold and hardly-dreary afternoon when this reporter discovered a nun-purple envelope in the mailbox of Unit 422 at The Soap Factory: “The Mail – The Mail is Here! Wohoo!” Resisting the urge to regurgitate any puns about mail ladies and female men which never made it to air on Blue’s Clues, there wasn’t much to say except that State Attorney General William Tong’s defense against…

Hartford, Conn. | April 27, 2025 – Three Connecticut State Senators admitted to no wrongdoing whatsoever in the matter of Connecticut v. Involuntary Electroshock this morning, conceding that they would gladly have taken action to move Connecticut bill S.B. 1070 on to public testimony had they taken the time to read the bill in its entirety. Sens. Hochadel and McCrory, seated at a one-sided table while sharing a two-strawed berry-free milkshake, communicated their thoughts non-discretely…

Hartford, Conn. | April 22, 2025 – After a month of failed efforts to persuade Connecticut’s Public Health Committee to take action on the State’s proposed bill to end involuntary electroshock and move it to public testimony, distinguished clown Jim Flannery turned his efforts today to a more publicly-supported issue: ending robocalls in America. Robocalls are the cause of any and all mental health issues I’ve ever had.  If we can end robocalls, my fears…

Hartford, Conn. | April 14, 2025 – After a barely legal procrastination, Connecticut’s State Attorney General’s Office made an appearance last week in the case of Flannery v. State of Connecticut.  Their entrance was lacking in any cultural significance whatsoever, amounting to nothing more than a metaphorical “hello”.  In keeping with Connecticut convention, Attorney General William Tong deferred any responsibility for addressing Connecticut’s violent mental health laws by anointing Assistant Attorney General Matthew Konowe as…

Hartford, Conn. | April 14, 2025 – Following a curious visit from a mail-delivering clown to Connecticut’s Legislative Office Building on Friday afternoon, Senator Saud Anwar and Representative Cristin McCarthy Vahey, co-chairs of Connecticut’s Public Health Committee, issued a shockless statement on behalf of the Committee this morning: What Mr. Flannery fails to understand is that our committee is in opposition to his goal of ending involuntary electroshock.  Had he paid any attention to our…

Hartford, Conn. | March 24, 2025 – University of Connecticut Health Center (UCHC) biomedical technician Jim Flannery filed a civil lawsuit against the state of Connecticut this afternoon.  The lawsuit alleges workplace conditions at UCHC are untenable due to discriminatory state laws involving psychiatric incarceration, forced drugging, and involuntary electroshock treatment of their employees. Flannery was unavailable to comment but left this reporter a note conveniently carved into a single shoot of asparagus, “[HHD-CV-255087946-S].” In…