Connecticut Public Health Committee Issues Statement on Involuntary Electroshock

2025-04-14

Hartford, Conn. | April 14, 2025 – Following a curious visit from a mail-delivering clown to Connecticut’s Legislative Office Building on Friday afternoon, Senator Saud Anwar and Representative Cristin McCarthy Vahey, co-chairs of Connecticut’s Public Health Committee, issued a shockless statement on behalf of the Committee this morning: What Mr. Flannery fails to understand is that our committee is in opposition to his goal of ending involuntary electroshock.  Had he paid any attention to our…

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$120 Million Lawsuit Launched Against the State of Connecticut

2025-03-24

Hartford, Conn. | March 24, 2025 – University of Connecticut Health Center (UCHC) biomedical technician Jim Flannery filed a civil lawsuit against the state of Connecticut this afternoon.  The lawsuit alleges workplace conditions at UCHC are untenable due to discriminatory state laws involving psychiatric incarceration, forced drugging, and involuntary electroshock treatment of their employees. Flannery was unavailable to comment but left this reporter a note conveniently carved into a single shoot of asparagus, “[HHD-CV-255087946-S].” In…

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Announcing the Release of “YTF”

2025-03-17

Glastonbury, Conn. | March 17, 2025 – In defiance of Home Box Office, Inc., Jim Flannery released his long-awaited HBO special, “YTF,” on his own website this morning.  When asked for a quote about why he didn’t go to Netflix instead, Flannery had this to say, “Why don’t you ask Netflix and HBO for a quote about where the fuck all their comedians’ comedy specials go after they’ve kicked them to the curb.  I can’t…

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“Stop the Shock” Protest at Hartford’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade

2025-03-15

HARTFORD, Conn. | March 15, 2025 – Today marks Hartford’s annual celebration of Saint Patrick, famously known for his voice-hearing abilities that aided him in his escape from imprisonment in Ireland.  While some scriptures purport that Patrick, born “Succit”, received instructions during a dream about how to make it back home to Britain, one would have had to have the longest fucking dream this reporter has ever heard of in order to learn how to…

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This just in – watch this shit or die

2025-02-22

HARTFORD, Conn. | February 22, 2023 –  “What’s up” to all my telepathic niggas out there.  This here be this reporter dropping some bomb shit on ya’ll from Jim Flannery’s website.  Since his sorry ass is extinct as fuck and the only thing he has left to do is drop dead of a heart attack at the St. Patrick’s Day parade, I’m pleased to announce the release of our dear friend Raggedy Rob’s show “Beige”…

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Flannery says “I love you 2”

2025-02-07

New York, Ny | February 7, 2025 – Amidst a growing mystery surrounding the recent whereabouts of comedian Jim Flannery following his failed bid for President of these United States in the November 2024 election, the gracefully aging artist reappeared just long enough to file a copyright infringement lawsuit pertaining to a joke Flannery alleges was or was not misappropriated by fellow comedian Gary Gulman. The lawsuit, filed in federal court this morning, states the…

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The Fifth Branch Exposed

2023-08-30

Washington, D.C. | August 30, 2023 – A witch, a dead man, and a pervert defied all known laws of both modern and classical physics to transcribe a narrative about human telepathic communication, revealing that which was never hidden at all: telepathic communication is real.  Autobiography of a JEDI: As told to… Somebody by James Flannery via Jim Flannery is now available for pre-order through Barnes and Noble.  Beware!  The pages may or may not…

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I, too, am telepathic

2023-08-23

In the wake of my dead husband’s unnecessary murder at Connecticut Valley Hospital this past weekend, it’s time to share what Jim Flannery was unwilling to – as if anyone ever believed he was holding back. The truth is that Jim was telepathic. Now for the risky statement for me to make as a living…

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PROV. PATENT FILING: process for allowing homo sapiens to communicate with leprechauns

2023-07-25

  In the spirit of the 7-7-7 season and “safe but never careful,” we’re providing both filings (including their respective cover letters) detailing multiple processes for allowing homo sapiens to communicate not just with one leprechaun but with multiple leprechauns (indeed!). Letter to Commissioner Hirshfeld (Nov, 2020) Letter to Commissioner Udupa (July, 2023) As for…

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HAPPY 7-7-7 to ya!

2023-07-25

Even your favorite candidate for President of these United States cannot decide which of these is more urgent and important to share with you on our most beloved holiday of the decade so you’ll have to trust in the spirit of a coin toss and first either: view a microscope image obtained of Our Lord…

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