FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
A Joke of a Human Walks into the CHRO
“Can you Hear me Roar now, Ouija?” Cried the Bored Clown
Hartford, Conn. | June 3, 2026 – Roaring through fiber optics, copper wire, and fully-functional photons came a portable document from the State of Connecticut’s Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities one week ago today containing the long-awaited Release of Jurisdiction needed for your friendly neighborhood schizophrenic, Jim Flannery, to resent this reporter for never giving up even when he has.
Despite criticism of Flannery’s intellect for inaccuracies in his initial filing on this matter to the Superior Court of Connecticut last year, including, but not limited to: his inability to remember the word-for-word contents of a prehistoric edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders he read in 2014; his lack of understanding of whether tactile, auditory, and olfactory hallucinations are considered distinct symptoms when diagnosing an individual; and, apparently, at least precisely one typo; one might be most drawn to the fact that his own therapist corrected Flannery’s self-diagnosed delusion as nothing more than anxiety prior to the filing that was shipped off to the CHRO, however, prevailing wisdom has demonstrated again and again (and once again) that while the second-longest sentence ever crafted by an ill-admired investigative reporter may denigrate those who won’t believe that the stupidest member of the global psychiatric survivor movement still doesn’t know whether he was actually employed by the State of Connecticut or UCONN Health Center, only our most devout readers will ever understand that all we really want to know is whether the stupidest motherfucker this side of the Atlantic is going to try his luck in court with Connecticut’s Superior Court again or re-explore federal court since the Release of Jurisdiction just so happens to have an EEOC number on it, which can only mean one thing if we can squeeze it out of America’s favorite clown: “Fuck you.”
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