News

Middletown, Conn. | January 3, 2025 – Recently retired Middletown District Probate Judge Joseph D. Marino breathed a sigh of relief this morning when he learned that he would not be charged with perjury after being caught lying during public testimony he offered on two Connecticut bills related to involuntary electroshock treatment. Marino, in written testimony for 2023 S.B. 898, a state bill to eliminate the need for probate court approval to forcibly electroshock a…

Hartford, Conn. | October 10, 2025 – According to modern folklore, the Bushnell Park Clown refuses to speak, preferring instead to sit his lazy ass on a bench all weekend smoking as an expression of… what exactly? Tonight, this reporter set out to uncover the truth about just what his purpose is and why he has decided to bring his filthy act to the Hartford Marathon tomorrow. That’s right, Hartford, what follows is an exclusive…

Glastonbury, Conn. | July 14, 2025 – ‘Twas the morning of Mad Pride Day when all through the apartment, nothing was happening because of a sad little artist… since all he could think about was the fact that his new EP One Sunny Day would not be released today. In the absence of a memory of anything beyond the first two lines of a prehistoric parochial poem, there is not much to report about an…

Washington, D.C. | June 28, 2025 – Today marked another day of inaction from the United Nations as American psychiatric survivor laureate Jim Flannery shared the music video for “What is Genocide?” off his upcoming album One Sunny Day. While the UN remains silent on the issue of whether the United States’ mental health laws are, by the UN’s definition, perpetuating a genocide against people who hear voices, Flannery is not: Technically, it’s not the…

Hartford, Conn.  | June 25, 2025 – A not-so-glorious day is upon us right here in the great state of Connecticut where wanna-be domestic terrorist Jim Flannery has lost his first legal battle against the State. Word arrived by Klonopin-coated carrier cardinal this afternoon that Judge Halloran dismissed Flannery’s $120 million workplace discrimination lawsuit (over a week ago!) due to lack of subject-matter jurisdiction, erasing any hope for justice against psychiatric oppression in Connecticut. With…

Washington, D.C. | June 14, 2025 – Disgraced clown Jim Flannery left his Solana-covered skid mark on the digital universe early this morning by releasing the elegantly-designed $FUCKTRUMP memecoin and launching the undesigned getFUCKTRUMPmemes.org website. Since this reporter is appalled at Flannery’s lack of interest in any of these press releases I’ve put together on his behalf, I will ask him a direct question so he’ll stop smirking like a stupid fucking ass hole. Well,…

Glastonbury, Conn. | June 2, 2025 – Amidst a dusting of mental illness allegations in the /r/Connecticut community on Reddit this past week, our friendly neighborhood schizophrenic Jim Flannery ignored all requests from this reporter to check the fucking mail for a response from the State Attorney General’s Office regarding his Motion to Stay. Fortunately for our readers, he loved his mother enough to check for the latest copy of the Glastonbury Citizen this morning…

Hartford, Conn. | May 27, 2025 – Nothing happened today in the contentious human rights battle between former U.S. Presidential Candidate James Flannery and his home state of Connecticut, at least that’s the story according to the Plaintiff. “There’s nothing to write about. It’s just a piece of paper asking permission from the Court to put the case on hold until I get a release from the [Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities],” shared Flannery……

New York, Ny. | May 11, 2025 – The anticipation of Home Box Office Entertainment’s response in the joke theft case of Flannery v. HBO built to a disappointing climax today, as Plaintiff Flannery failed to serve the Defendants, HBO and Gary Gulman, with their summons. With the 90-day window passing, Judge ABC may be left wondering whether this effort was nothing more than a frivolous flight of frantic fanaticism, or, quite possibly, an insidious…

Glastonbury, Conn. | May 2, 2025 – It was a not-so-cold and hardly-dreary afternoon when this reporter discovered a nun-purple envelope in the mailbox of Unit 422 at The Soap Factory: “The Mail – The Mail is Here! Wohoo!” Resisting the urge to regurgitate any puns about mail ladies and female men which never made it to air on Blue’s Clues, there wasn’t much to say except that State Attorney General William Tong’s defense against…