Three Clowns
One Clownmaster
A Plea to Make Fort Hood Proper

 

My name is Jim Flannery, and I was put on this Earth to do one thing and one thing only: execute psychiatrist Dr. Nidal Hasan at Fort Hood on December 3, 2026.

I brush my teeth twice a day.

I wipe my own ass.

I have 20/20 vision.

And if you will have me, I will do you the honor of carrying out the ceremonial killing of America’s most famous psychiatrist.

If only that were enough. To satisfy the demands of the entertainment economy, I shall provide my services as clownmaster to not one… not two… but three clowns for the event. Your promotional materials say ‘firing squad’ and I aim to meet your specifications.

I humbly request your support in persuading our public officials to allow me this duty through your signing of my petition below.

 

In solidarity,

Jim Flannery
#LetMasterBeThyBlaster

 

 

SIGN HERE!

 

 

#LetMasterBeThyBlaster