12 Things We Learned from Flannery’s Clownery

It feels like we are long overdue for a “wrap up” essay of sorts following the conclusion to Flannery’s Clownery. To that end, here is a cliché clickbait “top ten list” of lessons learned for mass consumption:

 

  1. The Office of the President of the United States is inaccessible to an individual with a psychiatric diagnosis since any person elected to the position consequently becomes a danger to others through their responsibilities as Commander in Chief, thus requiring the individual to be involuntarily committed to a Washington D.C. mental hospital immediately following their inauguration (and for the duration of their term).

(“Ex-mental patient disrupts U.S. mental health laws with Presidential candidacy”, 1/10/2023)

 

  1. For any individual with a psychiatric diagnosis, smoking a cigarette indoors in Connecticut while performing live comedy can result in involuntary psychiatric hospitalization due to the individual being deemed a danger to themselves.

(“How to Clown the Fuck Out of the Connecticut Mental Health System in 7 Simple Days”, 2/1/2023)

 

  1. It may just be that only sarcastic clowns are capable of comprehending the clumsiness of curated consonant clusters when the not-so-hidden “birthday loophole” in the U.S. Constitution is exposed, for better or worse free of its representation in the form of a mathematical expression (or two).

(“07. The Birthday Loophole”, early 2023)

 

  1. Any honest, hard-working American traveling through Arkansas City, Kansas can obtain a bank account bearing the White House address without being in physical possession of their Washington D.C. driver’s license (as for whether or not their checks will clear is a matter to be dealt with between Kansas and Oklahoma).

(“Worthless Paper”, 3/13/2023)

 

  1. Oklahoma allows individuals to appear on the U.S. Presidential ballot for a fee of $35,000 and the signature of seven voting residents.

(“Flannery Lands on the Oklahoma Ballot”, 3/17/2023)

 

  1. Election rigging is real and for sale.

(“The Election Rigging”, 2023; “leftover election rigging”, 2026)

 

  1. An uninsured resident from the state of Massachusetts is involuntarily committed to a mental health facility in Connecticut: will they be transferred back to Massachusetts to save Connecticut taxpayers from covering the bill…and if so, on who’s dime?

(“Connecticut’s Unfortunate Son Does Not Declare War on the State(s)”, 5/20/2023)

 

  1. Canada is no safer than the United States for people labelled with a psychiatric diagnosis, however, every March 17 they vote on whether to allow those of us labelled with a psychiatric diagnoses the prized privilege of medical assistance in death (aka ‘physician-assisted suicide’).

(“Flannery Says ’Fuck You Two’“, 6/21/2023)

 

  1. There may just be a God after all.

(“Jesus Fucking Christ”, July 2023)

 

  1. This is awful.

(“Kermit and Joyce: The Final Showdown”, 8/25/2023)

 

  1. Is FDA approval required to sell electroshock crowns when anyone can build one of their own with enough batteries and a soldering kit? And more importantly: why would anyone want a safe one?

(“B.K. Shock Crowns”, early 2026)

 

  1. Everybody asks how the clowns die. Nobody asks how they’re born.

(“And Then There Were None?“, 6/14/2026)

Category: Flannery's Clownery