Perth, Austr. | August 11, 2023 – While attending today’s library lecture on the art history of physics and social activism, American director and comedian, Louis CK, offered U.S. Presidential candidate, Jim Flannery, the raw black and white footage of gifted Holocaust survivor Magneto’s birth, the climax of which captures an earnest attempt by Magneto to resurrect his half-eaten twin brother that results in nothing more than a cereal of amniotic fluid and half-eaten Magneto-fetus-twin…

Las Vegas, Nev. | August 1, 2023 – Unbeknownst to his opponent, Robert Killian, Jr., psychiatric survivor and Presidential candidate James Flannery not only takes very good notes, but also occasionally records telephone conversations without obtaining two-party consent, thus resulting in the legal stalemate between Killian and Flannery that could only be resolved by Flannery’s timely surrendering this afternoon to Killian’s persuasive plea for a public debate over outpatient psychiatric commitment in Connecticut that will…

Middletown, Conn. | July 27, 2023 – While celebrations of good fortune from the first three 7-7-7 holidays of the month have preoccupied most if not all of the great citizens of the United States and Canada alike, U.S. presidential candidate and American psychiatric refugee Jim Flannery has surpassed all expectations by bestowing upon as yet another precious gift of unimaginable worth for the final 7-7-7 of the season: a nearly complete petition by the…

Albany, Ny. | July 23, 2023 – Late this evening, U.S. Presidential candidate Rev. James Patrick Sebastian Flannery discovered a cryptic note in his Massachusetts apartment delivering the news about his name being added to the New York ballot.  While New York is believed to have posed a challenge for Flannery due to unshakeable fears surrounding traumatic events taking place on their interstate in early 2021, a team of municipal workers who can probably never…

Wethersfield, Conn. | July 22, 2023 – Rev. James Patrick Sebastian Flannery exorcised the Christ the King Parish into purchasing war bonds following today’s vigil mass service at the Church of the Incarnation.  The transaction appears to be the first tangible evidence of a deliberate effort by the catholic church to elect Flannery to the Office of the President in the 2024 United States General Election, an effort Flannery insists is in direct violation of…