FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Flannery Lands Vermont and Washington
“James Flannery for President” surpasses “Jim Flannery(s) for President” along the Coast(s)
Washington, DC | March 21, 2023 – While being handcuffed at a Starbucks inside an Albertsons in Orange County, California, Presidential candidate-in-training||nominee, James Flannery, managed to submit the necessary filings to both the state of Washington and Vermont at the exact same time. In addition to the 1,000 signatures required by both Washington and Vermont, as well as the irish-catholic hand job the free state of Vermont never asked for, Flannery offered each a bouquet of twenty-one wilted roses leftover from Valentine’s Day.
Flannery, best known for his perfect politics, failed to understand that quantum mechanics is not a factor in counting signatures, as he may or may not have previously believed and regrettably shared with the world that Vermont required none at all. “Anyone who tells you they understand quantum mechanics, doesn’t understand quantum mechanics,” is all Flannery bothered with in defense, a quote attributed to Dr. Richard Feynman that Flannery was allegedly spotted spray-painting onto a Venice Beach coffee pot before trading for an equally attractive porcelain tea kettle [at not roughly the same time].
Though vague in description, observers present to witness the event(s) report the coffee pot was also “porcelain”.
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