FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Canada’s Mental Health System Held Hostage
American Refugee Challenges Involuntary Psychiatric Intervention
Ottawa, Ont. | June 14, 2023 – Despite the enticing freedoms offered through both cannabis and prostitution being legal here in Canada, United States Presidential Candidate and psychiatric refugee James Flannery turned his back on his new government last night, defiantly coercing himself into an involuntary psychiatric hospitalization in Ontario in protest of Canada’s persistent use of involuntary psychiatric interventions despite having ratified the Convention for the Rights of Persons with Disabilities in 2010. Flannery’s civil disobedient art will cost Canadian tax-payers nearly $400,000 CAD a year thanks to his recently being classified as eligible for the Interim Federal Health Program as a psychiatric refugee.
Flannery expressed his appreciation to his new neighbors in Canada, apologizing profusely for the expense, while thanking them for referring to his creative work as “civil disobedient art” rather than “art terrorism.”
Flannery pulled a similar stunt in May, seducing the U.S. state of Connecticut into involuntarily committing him to a mental hospital based on the presentation of two symptoms qualifying him for a diagnosis of “schizophrenia disorder”: his voice-hearing abilities labelled by clinicians as “auditory hallucinations” and his belief that he is or is not the next President of those united states labelled as a “delusion,” the latter symptom being the contributing force behind behaviors that led to him be qualified as “gravely disabled.”
Given there’s not a single Canadian who believes Flannery is not the next President of those united states, he was compelled to conceive of a new delusion, this time opting to present himself to clinicians as being delusional about whether he is or is not married to comedian, singer, and doula, Lauren Cahillane.
“My wife, my poor, poor fucking wife, she’ll never believe I pulled this shit off,” was all Flannery offered to this disappointed reporter who was forced to infer the remainder of the information for this release from a medical report Flannery traded for a Peruvian cigarette. According to Flannery, he believes Cahillane to be his wife despite them not being legally wed, citing the Bible as his sworn authority in the matter. While this reporter refuses to quote any scripture supporting positions that appear to go against an individual’s free-will, Flannery’s report implied through haiku that both he and Cahillane took one another’s virginity, suggesting that she is his wife according to God’s Law. Flannery, a Reverend with the Universal Life Church, and Cahillane, a green witch, are featured on a song together on the recently released album, 2024 4 13 + 25, an album that needs no further introduction.
“It’s a fascinating case study really, I’m presenting with exactly the same delusion they’ve been torturing Lisa Espinosa for down at Connecticut Valley Hospital for years. Apparently, it’s common practice in 2023 in both the United States and Canada to use involuntary drugging and electroshock to remove people’s religious beliefs. I would have thought exercising logic and reason would have been sufficient, but what the fuck do I know?”
While there does not appear to be an end date in site for Flannery’s departure from Canada since his present delusion appears to be an incurable ailment, Flannery insists he will be safely released after the 2024 General Election, albeit all but guaranteeing his victory in the process.
“I’d expect that when I’m elected President of those United States next November, they’ll deem me worthy enough for an extradition, but until then, it’s croissants and English muffins.”
Cahillane, who just recently became aware that Flannery featured her on a track on 2024 4 13 + 25, was too busy hiding under a blanket from her new legion of fans to comment, however, she knew well enough to know that this means the Easthampton, Massachusetts apartment will be available for Lisa to stay at should the state of Connecticut lay claim that Lisa’s incarceration and chemical torture is purely due to her having no place outside of a mental institute to hang her hat.
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