Flannery Defies the FEC
Connecticut’s Unfortunate Son Continues to Breathe Fresh Air
Washington, DC | May 7, 2023 – U.S. Presidential candidate Jim Flannery was not arrested yesterday for breaching campaign finance laws, despite publicly surpassing the Federal Elections Commission’s $5,000 limit for what appears to at least a stoned D.C. reporter as election rigging of one form or another.
Flannery’s fundraising to become a Special Olympics athlete surpassed the $5,000 threshold on May 6, a violation that may or may not be a violation since the Irish Golf web page claims to be fundraising for athletics, specifically stating it is “Not a 2024 Presidential Campaign Fundraiser” at least once.
The Federal Elections Commissions website states that an individual becomes a candidate once their spending or fundraising exceeds $5,000 at which point those anointed ‘candidate’ must “designate a ‘campaign committee’ to take in contributions and make expenditures on behalf of the campaign.”
Flannery refuses to form a committee, as he plans to keep both expenses and contributions below the $5,000 thresholds, despite this not qualifying him for the Federal Elections Commission’s label of “candidate.” When pressed for an explanation for how this is even possible, Flannery shared, “Thus far, there’s been no evidence aside from the bribes some states may or may not require to get onto the ballot, which could, of course, be paid on a candidate’s behalf by someone else, that one needs to raise nor spend any money whatsoever to become President.”
While the Irish Golf campaign has raised $8,499 to date, Flannery alleges his campaign expenses have not exceeded the FEC’s $5,000 limit: “Everything you see publicly raised is going toward the Irish golf effort, not the campaign, that is all self-funded, and no need to worry about some friends throwing me some cash along the way that I may or may not have died without or any banks that may or may not have been cualquier-cosa’d when the course was sparse. As far as expenses for the actual campaign go, nothing but a steel chair so far.”