FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

Flannery to Perform at Connecticut State Capitol
Leads One-Man Protest at Hartford’s Fourth of July Bonanza

Hartford, Conn. | June 30, 2023 – Despite the wishes of quintessentially the entire state of Connecticut, United States Presidential candidate and American refugee, Jim Flannery, expressed his intentions this morning to appear at the Hartford Bonanza in Bushnell Park this Sunday, July 2, “I’m particularly looking forward to performing an unreleased song featuring Lisa Espinosa, though I’m not sure how that will work given the state of Connecticut won’t let her out of Connecticut Valley Hospital for the Bonanza since it conflicts with her daily routine of being chemically tortured with neuroleptics. “

While rumors suggest that Flannery plans to be present in protest of the Fourth of July, purportedly titling his Bonanza performance “F Your Fourth,” he insists his appearance has nothing to do with the Royal family:

Sure, the king and queen allow for the torture of their subjects, loyal or not, one might even say they’re a leap ahead of the U.S. in their persecution efforts since they’re about to grant Canadian citizens labelled with psychiatric disabilities the privileged right to medical-assisted suicide, but what could that possibly have to do with celebrating the United States’ independence from their rule?  Unless you are suggesting that I’m suggesting we’ve only traded one tyranny for another, which I couldn’t possibly do while living in a well-functioning democratic republic, unless it truly is the preference of the majority of U.S. citizens that people who have been stamped with psychiatric labels be needlessly incarcerated and tortured. I guess we’ll find out for sure next November at the polls.

Tyrannies aside, as well as curiosities surrounding the distinction between monarchs and dictatorships, nor even the mere suggestion that there exists any individual human being living on planet earth with the legal authority to end the genocide against individuals labelled with psychiatric disabilities, we now turn to prayer for our answers.

“And your prayers are answered, nigga, I’ll be performing at the July 2nd bonanza, okay?  Don’t expect any jokes, I’m sorry to disappoint you, nothing but the dope shit, but just, for fuck’s sake, someone please make sure the police don’t hurt me,” Rev. Flannery respectfully requested.

Though we can all collectively rejoice in his direct request for safety, one cannot help but hope that Flannery would at least extend the same consideration toward his audience with regards to the content of his songs, and, if not, perhaps he could replace himself with a BOBA-THREE robot carrying an umbrella-wedge and balloon while pulling a suitcase to perform for us instead.

 

###