FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Flannery Initiates Proceedings to Obtain Psychiatric Refugee Status in Canada
Connecticut’s Unfortunate Son Emerges
OTTAWA, Ont. | May 30, 2023 – Sometime before the Sun fell or the Moon rose, U.S. presidential candidate James Flannery applied for psychiatric refugee status with the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada, a path paved by Jamaican-born refugee, Roxanne Stewart-Johnson, a known proprietor of said refugee status, who established precedence for such credentials in Canada. Through the support of at least one clown associated with MindFreedom International’s Landing Zone Project (presently being led by the late Celia Brown), Flannery unwittingly escaped the self-imposed superposition he trapped himself in throughout Connecticut’s mental health system and landed safely in Canada with both pitching wedge and umbrella in hand. Upon arrival, Flannery quickly exited to fetch a pail of water and submitted his refugee application from a secure location without wearing any gloves at all, confirming once and for all that there is or is not a whole crew of Jim Flannery(s) either escaping from the United States or taking over Canada.
While Canada is known for ratifying the Convention for the Rights of Persons with Disabilities and the Optional Protocol, Canada also allows for the doctor-assisted suicide of individuals labelled with psychiatric disorders, thus making Flannery’s pursuit of psychiatric refugee status in Canada a paradoxical safety measure. Not forgetting the history of and ongoing mistreatment of Canada’s native population, one cannot help but be disturbed by Flannery’s audacious manipulation of the media, mental health system, and national governments leading to his being permitted to receive a level protection from the Canadian government that extends beyond that offered to their own citizens.
When asked for comment, Flannery quickly moved past his undigested feelings about being the most arrogant newcomer to Canada since Saint Patrick, and, instead, took respite in the joy of feeling momentarily safe and expressed love and adoration toward his home state of Connecticut in the U.S., crying, “You’re welcome for saving you the five-hundred grand you didn’t get to expend on the eighteen-month clown show we just rescued you from – guess we’ll see you niggas at the polls, you heartless fucks.”
While tearing up and then burning the medical records from his recent psychiatric sabbatical in Connecticut, Flannery recited a series of nonsensical quotations involving the U.S. Constitution’s wording, not excluding an ejaculation about having already acquired the requisite 14 years of residence in those United States to qualify to be the next president despite seeking refugee protection from a foreign nation. Flannery then invited their remarkably quiet support clown(s) to form a sentence.
With or without the backing of The Great Spirit of Massachusetts, said invitation was declined due to Flannery’s misgivings about how soon he can be granted refugee status in Canada and whether or not he will now be compelled to obtain Canadian passport, particularly lacking the intel as to if said passport would or would not be issued before, during, or after his presidency in the United States.
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