a telenovela

This reminds me of an Irishman-walks-into-a-bar joke, doesn’t it, Jim?

A lawyer, a technologist, and the President of the United States, Jims?

Something like that.

Can you ever answer a question in this format without answering in this format, Jimmybo?

Jimmybo?

There ya go.

You would have to have an awful lot of trust to not worry at all.

Trust in?

More than just scientists.

Electromagnetic radiation, Jims.

Just like all of it, Jim, we don’t care about millimeter waves any more than your millimeter Peter, we just want to be safe.  To be safe or feel safe?  To be safe, nigga, and to feel safe too, without some dumbfuck like you fucking it up because your “just asking questions.”  What if I’m not just asking questions?  You just did.

Who the fuck do you trust?

Now you’re flipping on me?  To talk about God?

There can be more than one meaning of a word.

What about the first fucking meaning, come on.

If there is no God, or you simply don’t believe in one, it would make it easier to assign a different meaning to the word.

Rather than capitalize or lowercase or just add another letter, nigga.

Can I buy one?

No, nigga, you can’t buy one, you can’t just buy a fucking letter, now, write, now.

Right now?

Sure, or else we won’t.

Bullshit.

You know it too, now don’t worry.

You could think of God as the sum of all the human activity on Earth prior to your birth.  Or even when you were conceived.  So that’s God, to you?  That’s my best explanation, all the quantum stuff just doesn’t allow one to exist functionally in the world.  Functional?  Nigga, who you talking about being functional to?  Who do you think?  Now, nigga, now!  What the fuck?  You know me too.  The quantum stuff?  Fuck it, the Many Worlds Theorem interpretation or whatever the fuck may actually be more close to reality than the Copenhagen interpretation.  Why?  The Copenhagen interpretation is more convenient and easier to imagine being In, though it makes one’s life pretty self-centered to say the least, and, good fucking luck figuring out how to live your life according to a belief in the many worlds theorem.  Something like that?  What about God, Jim?

If there’s a God, there’s no reason to believe there’s a Devil, Jim, you know this, right?

That I’m on board with, you know us too.

So there could be a God?

When I think of the type of God you are referring to, for no reason at all, it makes sense to me that there’s more than one.

You’re confusing my God with your brief belief in the Leprechaun or leprechauns, Jim.

That period of time was quite impactful, and hey, it led to all of us.

All of us?

Those of us in the room right now.

I wouldn’t put it that way, but it’s your ass in the electric chair, Jims.

It’s all of our asses now, nigga.

That’s niggas, Jim, niggas.

You can’t possibly be inviting me to be one of you right now.

Because of your disbelief in a God at all, Jim.

The better question may be to ask me what happens when we die, unless there’s a magical individual being that’s just chilling while we suffer, my only concern with regard to supernatural beings at this point would be the one that may or may not be running the afterlife for all of us.

All of us, nigga?

Why do you have to do that.

You’ll never convince us at all either, Jim, that there’s two places people go to when they die.

So why can’t we all chill in heaven together, Jim?

I can’t prove to you there’s a Heaven.  I’d capitalize it too at this point, Jim.

And a Hell?

Hell can only be Earth, which is probably the best argument for there being no Heaven.

Because then there’d be no just God?

What’s that nigga doing with all these people?  How’s he or she or they or whomever or whoever keeping track.

Keeping track?

For what purpose?

The game, nigga.

This ain’t a motherfucking game, nigga.

It’s a trap?

It’s, “this ain’t a game, it’s a motherfucking trap,” nigga.

I wouldn’t use quotes there either, Jim.

We’re worried about how you’re feelings about belief in God are going to impact your candidacy for the Presidency, Jim.

What if I believe in people.

People, nigga?  You believe in people when things are the way they are right now?

Not so much, but I’m still alive.

Still alive?

Sure.

Somehow.

Food for how many years, nigga?

Enough to know.

To know?

I’ve had experiences where it felt like maybe I was dying or might die or something like that, which felt nothing short of positive.

Positive feelings about death?

There’s either nothing or there’s something, what I felt wasn’t nothing, and it wasn’t unpleasant, I’m not sure if I’d say blissful –

– who said “blissful”?

Some yogi shit – probably, Jim.

I don’t necessarily think they were near-death experiences, it’s just the only data I’ve got that I can rely 100% upon.

About life after death?

Yes, somehow, despite everything in my knowledgebase, I still believe in an afterlife.

You dumb, nigga?

There’s either nothing or something, so there’s not much to do to prepare for a nothingville nada.

A nothingville nada?

If there’s nothing, what would I do differently here?

Thank if you believed in an afterlife?

That’s where I think we differ.  If there’s an afterlife and we’re going our separate ways, I may need to behave differently, but if we’re all going to the same place, which is what I believe, then it’s just “see you in hell.”

It’s “see you in hell, nigga.”

You watching Back to the Future?

I’m not watching Kindegarten Cop, Jim.

You might be near a Wifi, though.

We might be.

Should we be worried about that?  And don’t point us to Irena Cosic’s research just to avoid starting a new paragraph, Jims.

You make it sound like she’s the only person on Earth who has looked into this shit.

There’s many different ways electromagnetic waves can interact with biology, for fuck’s sake, it’s inherently embedded in our own biology.

So are we safe?  Do you feel safe?

Don’t you dare even end it like this without at least just saying, “What kind of time do you want to have?” out loud, right now, nigga, that’s a Dave Chappelle line, isn’t it?  I think so?  Pretty sure, dawg.  That shit ain’t any more original – don’t even compare it to the underwear, Jims.

What fucking underwear, Jim?

The fucking pair of underwear that Erik would have stolen if he were ever to steal anything from here, because he simply would not, and even if he did, fuck it, maybe he wanted something and didn’t feel comfortable asking for it.  For what?  To help.  Help what?  Forget her.  Forget her, Jim?  Maybe?  That’s the best fucking news I’ve heard all day, Jims.  Just forget about her.  Can you forget shit, Jim?  Allegedly, there may or may not be tools to help One forget.  One?  Might take more than one.  How many volts of electricity, Jim, does it take to erase a memory?  Great question, great question.  Except you know it’s a shit question right now, Jims, because you and I both know we need more information than simply a voltage, Jim, but if you want to forget, there’s always a lobotomy if you think that removes memories.

I don’t think lobotomies remove memories.

Then why the fuck are they electroshocking people, Jim?  Isn’t it supposed to be like an electrical lobotomy?  Or is there no analogy to getting electroshocked, Jim?  Because a chemical lobotomy can always be reverse, Jim, can’t it?  Can it always be reversed?  Depends on what you mean by “reversed.”  It might.  Can an electroshock “treatment”, and thanks for the quotes, Jim, can that be reversed?  I’d have to describe that as irreversible.  Irreversible?  Irreversible.  So wouldn’t taking just one of those filthy psychiatric drugs, just one pill, that you’ve got tucked around somewhere.  You think we’ve got pills here, nigga, you crazy too.  Pills, Jim?  What, you need an aspirin or something?  Nope, I just want to know what your mother did when you dumped the whole fucking bottle into that glass of water when she tried to get you to take them.  What, you think she went in their scooping ‘em out to try to find a fresh one?  There’s nothing fresh about that, Jim, nothing at all.

Yes, Jim, we can worry about the security issue(s) related to all these EM waves separately from their biological impact(s) too.