FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

$FUCKTRUMP Memecoin Now Available on the Solana Network

Don’t Even Ask About the Exclusive Dinner

Washington, D.C. | June 14, 2025 – Disgraced clown Jim Flannery left his Solana-covered skid mark on the digital universe early this morning by releasing the elegantly-designed $FUCKTRUMP memecoin and launching the undesigned getFUCKTRUMPmemes.org website.

Since this reporter is appalled at Flannery’s lack of interest in any of these press releases I’ve put together on his behalf, I will ask him a direct question so he’ll stop smirking like a stupid fucking ass hole. Well, Mr. Flannery, does this or does this not represent your intention of running for President again?

Silence. Just as I expected. It seems that our fallen hero only likes speaking up when he’s interrupting me rather than actually participating to this cursed thing at all. In fairness to our readers, let me offer my best impression:

Let’s say you’re fucking a dog – and the dog is being involuntarily electroshocked by some genocidal psychiatrist. And all you can think about is: ‘how many $FUCKTRUMP memecoins is it going to cost me to purchase every goddamned electroshock device in the country and dump them all in the Gulf of Cerletti?’ Do you lose your wood? Or does the thought make you cum?

Oh, how rich… now he has something to contribute. Pray tell, Mr. Flannery. “That was really good. The ‘Gulf of Cerletti’ part was brilliant. I would just like to say something in there about Kennedy’s Aunt Rosemary.” And he’s done it. Thank you all for your time and attention. Don’t forget to vote!

 

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