Are we allowed to express anger? At all? As humans? I sure as fuck feel angry right now, yet, just the inclusion of the word “fuck” discredits.
I could take the time when I’m calm to edit. I’ve done that before. [or just coincidentally publish what can’t help but feel something during a time of anger and bring this up for a trifecta of self-expression]
Am I supposed to include a footnote on everything that’s posted to indicate whether it was edited before it was published? If so, what if I edit a typo essentially in real-time? Does it feel like you are reading my thoughts in real-time? What if you are? What if you aren’t?
I feel like I owe an explanation for the anger, but where would I begin?
Ultimately, I won’t, because it’ll waste space-time and be perceived as whining and complaining anyway.
Why whine and complain about what makes me angry when I can whine and complain about how it feels instead?
I’m fortunate in many ways, unfortune in others, but the must unusual aspect of meself may be what you are actually experiencing right now: alleviating my anger non-violently by writing.
Is writing non-violent? Great fucking question.
It’s upsetting to acknowledge that, according to modern mental health law, writing can be an act of violence against one’s self. Or is it oneself? Who really cares at this point when an individual can be locked in a mental hospital and forcibly drugged against their will for sharing their thoughts.
Seems fucked up.
Some might agree some thoughts would best not be shared, though some might be curious to want to know them all. However, where the fuck does it become mental illness instead of a non-flattering adjective?
Is it scientific? Out of convenience? What do you think? Don’t I need to offer you more than just two possibilities? What else could be the explanation for our current mental health laws? Somehow, they came to be this way in every fucking state in the country, which means, there was a time before these laws existed.
Unfortunately, this won’t end with such an elegant statement, instead, I’m forced to be reminded that before these laws existed, some people like meself were still treated sub-human.
Now, I feel more sad than angry. Not much to do about sadness except be grateful you are human. Then again, apparently, feeling angry must also be human.
Probably shouldn’t have tried reading it over, doing so just made me angry. Probably deserved an indentation since this is a fucking paragraph. Oh fuck you and fuck this. The end.